Back to the drawing board

It has been a really busy few weeks, with some vacation thrown in, but now I am back to normal life, which is to say, making myself miserable.  This seems to be my favorite occupation, and i cannot seem to stop it.  Some days go along just fine, but little inconveniences just nail my balls to the wall.

Yesterday, I fixed the girlfriend’s car.  It was a small operation, the brake light switch needed to be replaced, but getting the part was the ball crusher.  I had to consult a friend, borrow a car, and the part cost me $20.  For a lot of different reasons I felt like the guy at the parts shop was giving me the ’special’ price.  Now I don’t think I was cheated but this strange conviction that i was cheated, this suspicion, this paranoia, has made me so anxious and tied up in knots that I am still trying to come down from it all.

I am convinced that my feeling and well-being is in my power.  So why do I continue to create the misery instead of joy?  What a waste fo time and energy the past few days.

Man Alive, but very irritable

Fall weather

Well it has been cool in these last few days, and after a hot summer WOW how nice it feels.  So for the change in the weather and the coming of a new season, I am grateful, as for the following as well:

1. Marriage with the girlfriend is in the works!

2. Great lunch with probably the last watermelon of the summer.

3. My family is really amazing.

4. Work is great.

5. I have been really busy in these days and that’s how I like to be.

For all this, and for my sobriety (just celebrated 3.5 years!) I am most grateful.

Happy 24 hours to all!

Man Alive

Just too much

Lots of things in my life at present are really giving me a run for my money.  But sobriety has helped me to take a lot of it in stride, so I am grateful that I am alive and experiencing all the agony and the ecstasy without the need to get rip roarin’ drunk.  So for all this, and much more besides, I am really pretty grateful:

1. The amazing girlfriend

2. This morning’s coffee

3. The clear blue sky outside and early fall weather, especially the roaring wind of the past few days

4. That my brother is coming to visit

5. Sobriety, first and foremost

For all this and much more I give thanks. 

Happy 24 hours to all!

Man Alive