Works

I try to find what works and keep it, dumping the rest and always reserving the right to reconsider whatever ideas I have already accepted or dismissed.  This seems to be a reasonable philosophy and a lot of people hold it whether explicitly or implicitly.  But like a lot of other people I have my limitations and prejudices and therefore have a hard time rejecting some things, especially those falling into cultural or religious categories.  It is painful, after all, to reexamine and maybe even shake off our early impressions and beliefs.

On one occasion I was seriously considering starting to drink again and was convinced, given my emotional and intellectual state at that moment, that nothing could have stopped me.  All the other times in the past when I felt the way I did at that moment I always drank.  I had no reason to believe that I would not drink, in fact found myself moving towards the old bars in an old neighborhood in which I used to booze it up a lot.  I attended one meeting that morning, and was ready to make a second, in the hopes that what the program people were telling me would be true.  The discussion during the meeting helped me turn a corner, and something in my interior life changed enough to give me some confidence.  But it was the call to another problem drinker which saved me.  What I know is that I had a problem with alcohol for a long time and what has kept me from drinking again during these sober years are the moments that I speak with others who have the same problem.  This process has worked for me; I am not drinking and I do what I can to avoid starting again.   From the AA point of view, I am working a pretty shabby program.  But I do know what to do when the urge comes, and it is the AA community has helped me figure this out.  AA is criticized pretty harshly in some quarters and in some ways I find it too dogmatic.   I arrived at the doors of AA with my own religion and plan to keep it.

The final thing I have to say is this and it is something on which everyone agrees: IT IS POSSIBLE TO STOP DRINKING. Find what works.  If AA works keep going back.  If you find something else, keep at it; combining programs is permissible.