“No man is unhappy without his consent.” Epictetus
In the face of adversity we always have two options: adversity/irritation or adversity/cheerfulness. I have been considering this idea for a few weeks now and find it fascinating. The implications are clear: I do not always get to choose what happens in my life but I can choose how I respond to what happens. No matter how serious the difficulty, threat, problem, trouble, or setback, I can choose to be either irritable or cheerful. If I am living my sobriety well nothing can depress me. If I am not living my sobriety well I am in for trouble even on sunny days. The big book addresses this (precisely where I can’t recall) so I know I am on solid ground, but it is also written about by many of the old philosophers and seems to be a standard refrain in many religious traditions. Even psychologists get into the act, saying that we can view things in an optimistic or pessimistic manner.
For me, this idea is a revelation or even a revolution. Theoretically, then, NOTHING beyond my control has the power to depress me or make me complain and be irritable: not bad weather, not insults, not sickness and suffering, not the threat of death, not the loss of a friend, not dropping and breaking my favorite coffee cup, not waiting in long lines, not noisy crowds, not the cancellation of my favorite TV shows, not being mugged, not the meltdown of my computer, not anything.
Beautiful theory, I know. Practice is another matter entirely. And this is the test of emotional sobriety, remaining good natured and upbeat and cheerful in the face of perceived misfortune. Of course this does not mean putting on a false happy face but really and truly finding the goodness in every misfortune even if it means saying “When this is trial is over I am going to emerge wiser, more understanding, and more mature.” And if saying that is enough, it is enough. We must use our creativity to see the good in these things. And just to take what most people consider the worst case scenario: within the threat of death, there is the promise (among certain religions) of new and more abundant life hereafter. Whistling in the dark? Maybe, but if it gives courage and helps us to be hopeful and cheerful in the face of it, I think it is perfectly legitimate and worth a try.
1 response so far ↓
C // December 4, 2008 at 3:29 pm |
This post was a helpful reminder to me. I’m sure at some point, after lots and lots of practice, I will start thinking this way automatically. But for now it has to be a deliberate, conscious effort to let go, accept and think of the positive, the good.
I’m not sure I can always manage “cheerful” — but maybe just “not irritable.” And sometimes that is good enough. Better than the alternative -( the negative )– anyway.
Thanks for your post. It came at a good time for me.
Hope your week has been good so far.